Where Do I Go From Here?

ORIGIN STORY

This was the first song I remember writing after I blew up my life at 29.

In retrospect, that is a very dramatic description, but that’s what it felt like. Within a few months I had broken up with my girlfriend (the longest relationship I had ever been in), moved out of my apartment in North Carolina and moved to Nashville, and signed a record deal with a new label that was going to require a lot of effort.

In the aftermath… I was sleeping on my manager’s couch in Nashville with a few big fans blowing for white noise so we didn’t bother each other. I was in this new transition now and I was reeling. I felt excited about the new adventure in Nashville, but distraught about ending the relationship with this person I loved. I was trying to fall asleep, but my unconscious kept asking me questions… I remember I recorded the whole chorus under my breath, so as not to wake up my manager in the bedroom of his open floor plan studio.

I fell asleep comforted. And this is the way that music has always helped me. This is the alchemy. The pain literally turns into something I’m excited about listening to the next day. I’m excited to keep exploring the feeling buried in the song. And that helps me calm down.

The next morning I picked up my guitar and finished the song.

RECORDING

I didn’t think this song would make it on the album. But when Too Late ended I knew that I needed a bridge to get me to the next song (I’ve Never Been Here Before). I felt like I was skipping an emotion. An inner questioning. This song helped fill this gap. But I needed to record it.

I had taken the song to Gabe and Gideon a few years earlier, but it had never worked because of the rhythm in the chorus — the chords push and pull to syncopate with the vocals and we couldn’t figure out what the bass and drums should do? Should they join the vocals or follow the piano. We never solved it.

But in 2024, when I realized I needed this song on the album, I brought it back to them. Gideon wondered if we should try to record it live together. He grabbed the acoustic guitar. I sat a the piano. Gabriel jumped on the drums. We played through it together a little and immediately solved the rhythm issues. It just made sense when we all played it together. We recorded 2 takes all the way through and we knew we had it. We then tracked bass, electric guitar, shaker and backing vocals. It was so simple and it’s such a refreshing song on this album as a result.

I look forward to it every time it comes on.